My Mom and I have had many adventures together, but none have been as challenging as watching her transition from caregiver to requiring full-time care. To the world my mom is known as Sis or Sissy, to me she has always been my best friend. The one who always supported any crazy decision I made in life. Yes, even while going through those horrible teenager years! My father was a career Navy man and was often gone for many months. The first 11 years of my life we lived on the same street. Once he retired, we moved every 2 – 3 years. That's when the cycle began, I would make new friends, then we would move for the rest of my youth. My one constant friend then and in adult years, often partner in crime, was my mom.

She has always had this bigger-than-life personality that used to drive me nuts! One only needed to listen for the laughter to know where she was in any room. She was a stay-at-home mom when my siblings and I were young. She volunteered for endless hours at our schools, finally becoming a paid assistant/para-pro when my twins were in kindergarten. This position required that she drive a school bus. At the age of 50+ my mom totally accepted and embraced this challenge! We had no idea this new career would be her lifeline when my dad was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and would pass away at age 65. They were married 42+ years and per Mom, “He was the great love of my life!”. She then began her life without him. For the first time in her entire adult life she was living single. She eventually quit driving the bus and went back to volunteering after he passed. This lasted for about five years until for security reasons new locks were placed on the entry doors at the school, which also required a computer sign-in. She struggled with the computer sign-in so she stopped volunteering as much. It was at this time there was increased confusion in completing tasks, even simple ones, which in the past she never gave any thought to. Forgetting things, sometimes even as she was doing them. She has always had issues with her short-term memory due to a vitamin B12 deficiency, so it was often attributed to that. Unfortunately, it was becoming clear the direction she was going in was a diagnosis of Alzheime's Disease. She had two siblings with this ugly disease so we were all too familiar with the symptoms. She then became defensive with good excuses: “Oh I forgot”, “You didn’t tell me”, “I told you, but you never listen to me!” or the favorite one, still used today “I didn’t hear you”. Fortunately, my sister lived with her, allowing her to live in her home until a major life event made that impossible. Suddenly, hard, never discussed as a family, fast decisions needed to be made. Decisions such as: Where did she want to live? Full-time home health care? A memory care facility? Home health care with the option of an Adult Day Care during the day? Where would she thrive? How would this get paid? After my dad passed away we had many discussions of her moving near me but at the time she had a good life where she lived. She would say: "When she was ready we would move here." She was finally ready. She was excited about living in a facility where she would be around others with daily activities. As with most people, the isolation of 2020 was detrimental for her mental and emotional health. She has always been a social butterfly and needs activity to thrive. Plus, I'll be honest she is incredibly nosy as well as tending to be bossy, living in a facility allows these skills to kick in!

This final chapter in her life is not always easy, however it is worth every minute I can spend with her! While I have spent over 20 years dealing with cancer patients, I am by no means a professionaal. I am merely a daughter stumbling through life and hoping to make the best decisions possible to make her life as great as it can be. The advice given in my website is based strictly on trial and error of the last few years. I hope there will be something beneficial for you here.

** Life is a gift! Cherish it Always!**